No No’s For Mommy & Daddy Blog

If you ever meet me and get me started on talking about young people, I will go on and on about how thousands of parents have changed for the worse over the years. There’s a growing group of parents who play dumb and have their heads in the clouds when it comes to their children. I do mean literally, in the clouds, for those parents who are too busy shopping or talking to notice that their child is putting him/herself in harm’s way or misbehaving. On countless occasions, I have either been the hero or watched someone else play hero by catching a falling child or stopping a running little one from going outdoors. All the while, the parent is standing right there engrossed in a meaningless activity. It’s like their children arrived with them, but they aren’t together. Younger children aren’t the only ones with parents who are oblivious to what is happening in their children’s lives. Millions of teenagers are flunking and disrupting classes, having vaginal, anal or oral sex with multiple partners, abusing drugs and alcohol, contemplating suicide, causing self-inflicted injuries, suffering from depression, participating in violent acts, and having virtual sex with pedophiles on popular online sites right under their parents’ noses. Stevie Wonder can see better than these parents! I have also noticed another booming group of mommies and daddies who are poor role models or they are spending too much time trying to be their kid’s buddy instead of a parent. Everything is a joke or a fight between them. These parents would probably be utterly humiliated if they only knew what their kids say about them when they aren’t around. The crazy things their kids reveal about their parents don’t surprise me, because these kids see their parents as peers and not worthy of privacy or reverence. I meet all types of kids who make their parents look like idiots. They talk to their parents in a disrespectful tone and blatantly defy them. The parents who appear the most professional and sound the most articulate can be the biggest impersonators. I have personally witnessed countless young people use profanity in their mother/father’s presence. I have been teaching long enough to know that I can’t invervene, but there are kids who show me more respect than their parents. During some meetings, I have watched a parent and son/daughter play around and talk to each other like old chums. It’s obvious that they have crossed the line into a trouble-filled zone. It doesn’t take long before it’s time for our meeting to take a serious turn. The playfulness can’t help but come to a stop. The child then becomes resentful and confrontational when asked by their parent to follow directions or become a better student. All hell breaks loose when this happens! It’s crystal clear that these children cannot handle their parents telling them what to do. Some kids even tell off their parents on the spot! Every time I have witnessed a young girl or boy lose his/her temper with his/her parent, the mom or dad just has this ridiculous look on their face. They are probably wondering how they ended up here when it didn’t start out this way. What happened to their angel? I want to tell them, the longer his legs, the shorter his wings. Now, snap out of it and do or say something to put a little fear in that rascal! I notice that some kids truly enjoy making their parents look weak and incompetent. If only I had a dime for every time a parent came to his/her kid’s defense and he/she ended up looking like a fool. It would be funny, if it weren’t so pathetic that a parent cannot make his/her child do what they want. I am almost forty and my parents can still make me comply. If you have children who make good grades and are considered delightful children by people who meet them, then you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. They behave the way that you want them to behave. PERIOD. You don’t have to curse or belittle them. Since birth, you have lovingly trained them and been such a GREAT role model that they know the expectations and strive to live up to them. Do they make mistakes? OF COURSE! But their shortcomings are the exception and not the rule. When I meet parents who allow the exception to become the rule, then I am truly disappointed and disgusted. It ISN’T FAIR for the rest of us have to pay for a parent’s negligence. Their kids aren’t our kids! As a matter of fact, some of us have GREAT kids, so it is obvious that we are fulfilling our parental responsibilities. Truthfully, no one would care if ineffective parents kept their worthless and troublemaking kids in their house for the rest of their natural lives. We would mind our own business as long as none of us EVER have to deal with them. But we all know that isn’t going to happen. Don’t believe me? Then talk to someone who has been emotionally, mentally, physically or financially scarred after crossing paths with a bad kid. I constantly meet adults who share their experiences with having their ears assaulted by rude young people. We shouldn’t be surprised when when we work with, live next to, or walk/drive alongside an adult who leaves us with a bad feeling. Troublemaking kids become troublemaking adults. Maybe some parents can’t help their kids, because they are in denial about their own sad situation (future blog topic). My concern is that if I can see the trainwreck ahead for children who do not belong to me, then surely their parents, who know them best, can see their fate. More parents need to stop taking such a passive approach to parenting. It has been my experience that kids do not outgrow bad habits without any intervention. They also never grow out of the “just a phase” stage without continuous parental involvement. When successful young adults outgrow being young, they are usually the product of parents who give their children their undivided attention while instilling invaluable life lessons. Is there anyone out there who feels my pain?